


The Hobo Helper

by puppyluthor



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Crack Fic, F/F, hobo - Freeform, im sorry katie but it had to be your wardrobe, istg if lena ever dresses like this ill choke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 11:49:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12911319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puppyluthor/pseuds/puppyluthor
Summary: i hate myself for this but the rat said it was a good idea of a ficGot the idea from that tumblr post that said if Lena ever dressed like how Katie dressed and bumped into Kara at the grocery store





	The Hobo Helper

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to the rat @svpercorps on ig for editing my sucky typing skills :)

It was like any other day, except it really wasn't. 

Lena Luthor, CEO of L-Corp and owner of Catco, found herself wandering the veggie aisle of a grocery store, unable to decide between the kale and the broccoli. She really wasn't that picky, but it all depended on what she was going to prepare for herself that day. She wasn't trying to catch anyone’s attention and she made sure of it too. 

She planned out her whole outfit herself (UNFORTUNATELY) so she wouldn’t attract the paps, or anyone with eyes, for that matter. She wore a black jacket with colored sleeves and some black sweats tucked into brown uggs, paired with some sunglasses (WHO THE FRICK WEARS SUNGLASSES IN WINTER) and her hair down. In all honesty, she looked like a hobo, but she didn’t know that(because the gays are blind and oblivious to everything).

After picking both kale and broccoli(what she gonna do with that), she decided to go to the candy aisle, which she hated. But it was for her BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD (her only friend) and she was going to buy most of the store anyway because SHE was LENA LENTIL LIMA BEAN LESBIAN LUTHOR; a mofo boss who could buy anything she wanted. 

And she really wanted that stupid Supergirl piñata, so she did what she does best and loaded like 3 carts full of candy and cookies and just the kale and broccoli she got….when SUDDENLY SHE WAS BUMPED INTO THE WALL 

“Oh my Rao, I’m Super sorry ma’am, I didn’t see you there. Are you okay? Did you break anything? Do I need to take you to the hospital? Can you walk? Can you--”

“Kara! Wow I didn't expect to see you here!” Lena’s extra ass exclaimed. (really lesbian ‘didnt expect to see you here’ what the fu-)

“Um... oh Rao, you know who I am… I'm flattered?? And honestly, this is awkward, because honestly, wait ma’am, what are you doing with all this candy and… IS THAT A SUPERGIRL PIÑATA I ALWAYS WANTED ONE! SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH IT!”, the literal puppy uttered.

“Kara you really don't know who I am ?!?!??!?!?! Really ?!?!?!” the confused lima bean lesbian said.

“Should I? And do you need help with these? WAit COuld you even afford all this ?? You know what, NO! I'm not letting you buy this, it’s all on me ma’am. I see you’re trying to give the homeless kids a good time, let me buy all this, and I'll even help carry it to whatever bus stop bench you’re walking to.” Kara rambled. 

They walked(more like Kara dragged Lena with the carts) towards the checkout section, and Kara started TRYING to pay.

“Kara, please, no, I’ve got this.”

“Ma’am, I told you, it’s all on me. And I don’t mean to be rude, but judging by how you look, you really can’t afford it.”

“I can afford this, Kara, stop--” the lesbian lentil protested in offense as Kara shoved her aside and quickly scanned her credit card to pay for the piñata, candy, kale, and broccoli.

“No you can’t, you hobo.”

Lena started crying, but she didn’t know if it was because Kara was helping her out with her groceries or because she was called a hobo.

They both exited the store, with Kara balancing 5 boxes of candy on one hand and Lena’s kale, broccoli, and Supergirl piñata on the other. Lena, being her extra self, lagged behind slowly, calculating the physics behind her friend’s capabilities. 

She also started debating whether or not to out herself now, or play along(wow this was the second time was outing herself). She decided to tell Kara that it was LENA, HER BEST FRIEND!!!! SHE SHOULD KNOW SHE SAVED ME FROM THE PLANE AND I ONLY SAID 2 SYLLABLES THAT TIME! 

So this is how they looked: Kara nonchalantly bearing the weight of way too much stuff, so much that people should really suspect her being an alien, next to a crying hobo carrying a small bag. 

“So which bus do you take to the homeless shelter?”

“What?” the hobo whimpered.

“Which bus do you take? Wait, don’t cry, please don’t cry, if you cry, I'll cry and if I cry, I won’t stop for a long while, please don't cry, we are about to make kids happy! Lighten up a bit, oh please.”

Through her whimpers she said, “I don’t live in a shelter and I don’t take a bus, I wait for my driver.”

“A driver? Why would a hobo have a dri-- GREG WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WAIT MA’AM, HOW DO YOU KNOW GREG? ARE YOU TRYING TO DO SOMETHING WITH LENA LUTHOR-- ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO KILL HER? I WON’T ALLOW IT, I'LL TAKE YOU TO HER RIGHT NOW SO I COULD TELL HER UP FRONT WHAT HAPPENED HERE! AND MAYBE I'LL ASK HER OUT FINALLY TOO SINCE I'M HER HERO AFTER ALL; CONFIDENCE IS KEY’’ 

Grabbing the hobo by the waist and throwing her over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes, she flew off; not caring that she was still in her civilian clothes, just wanting to go see her best friend in the whole wide world that she was totally in like with cause she still wasn't in love with her… (this bi-)

“WAIT YOU LIKE-- OMG KARA, NO! I HATE HEIGHTS, YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS, NO, PLEASE STOP!”

“IF YOU KEEP WIGGLING AROUND, YOU’LL FALL! PLUS, WE ARENT THAT-- WE’RE HERE!” the hero said, landing on Lena’s apartment balcony.

“OMG I’M GONNA BARF…” stumbling towards her bathroom mumbling, “why did you do this to me. I swear to your Rao, I'll take some Kryptonite and get you back, you bubbly adorable fu...”

As always, the alien wasn't paying attention to what the hobo was doing as she was looking for her gorgeous, smart, out of this world, breathtaking, timeless BEST FRIEND throughout the apartment, yelling “LENA? HEY LENA? YOU THERE LEE? I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMEONE AND ASK YOU IF YOU KNOW THEM! LENA WHERE ARE YOU! LEE?”

Meanwhile, Lena was contemplating just walking out her apartment to go back and get her groceries or staying and just telling the Kryptonian the truth, because this was getting old. She choose the latter and went to go change into Kara’s National City sweater, paired with some Supergirl bottoms she bought online, telling herself she was supporting her friend when she bought them. 

Putting her hair in a loose bun and grabbing her reading glasses off her nightstand, she walked out, only to be grabbed from behind; a hand over her mouth, and a voice near her ear that whispered, “Shh it’s okay, Lee, but um... you see, I didn’t think about it and I brought a hobo to your house that wanted to kill you because she knew your driver Greg and now I don't know where the hobo went and I’m sorry for grabbing you from behind and scaring you, and oh Rao, I’m rambling right know and not letting you speak because I have my hand over your mouth, and I’ll just let you speak.” 

She dropped her hand, still hugging her from behind resting her head on Lena’s shoulder. (now is not the to be gay ass fuck time you kr-)

“Um... Kara, funny thing about the hobo… that was me.” turning around to face the blonde.

Both gazing into each other's eyes the brunette explains, “There was never a hobo trying to kill me. I just wanted to go buy groceries and other stuff, tha-- that's the way I dress whenever I go out… don't worry about your secret; I've always known about you being National City's Girl of Steel, you know, being Lex Luthor’s little sister, you learn things you don't want to know. But Kara, did you really mean what you said about wanting to ask me out? Because if you do, I wouldn't mind! Actually, I’ve been trying to muster up some courage to ask you on a date all this time, and the Supergirl piñata was actually going to be a gift for you but all this confusion happened and now I don't have it and I don't have my broccoli or kale and I'm rambling, oh wow… sorry.”

Pushing Lena back and grabbing her by her shoulders with wide eyes, she yells, “THAT WAS YOU? OH LEE, I'M SO SORRY FOR CALLING YOU A HOBO… AND LEAVING YOUR GROCERIES OVER THERE… AND NOT LISTENING WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE SCARED OF HEIGHTS … a-a-and for not telling you I was Supergirl. Even though I have been begging J’onn and Alex to let me because I didn't want to start a relationship maybe with the biggest secret. BUT I SWEAR TO RAO I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU!!” (this girl did not mention asking Lena out who in the world..)

“Kara, it’s fine. I forgive you, but I really want 3 things right now, if it’s not too much to ask.”

“Anything, Lee, tell me and I'll help because I'm so sorry.”

“Well 1. I really want my groceri--” 

Papers were flying and hair was all over her face before Kara was back with the candy boxes, piñata and veggies.

“Okay, I got them. What else?”

“Well 2. Ask me what you were planning to ask me?”

“Oh... oh... um, well, huh. This is really difficult and you already know... Rao, okay. Lena Luthor, would you maybe want to go out with me sometime? Like on a date… I mean, you could still say no, it’s just… I’ll stop talking.”

“Yes, Kara Danvers, I would be honored to go on a date with you.”

“Yes! Cool, cool, so what was the third thing you wanted?”

With a smirk, she answered “I wanna break open the piñata!”


End file.
